What is Love?

What Is Love

     Have you ever been asked the question, what is love and what it means to fall in love? The size of that question is so broad that you don't exactly know how to answer it. Well at least for me, I've fought with the idea of what love is and falling in love is and the meaning of it all. What is the extent of it? How do I know that I have fallen in love? What types of love is there? And... Finally I came to a conclusion about what love is. I concluded that there are eight types of love. Not only will I talk about each one, but I'll also give my definition of a concept love. But first I'll state the eight different types of love I'll be describing which are, philia, pragma, storge, eros, ludus, mania, philautia, and agape. After going through and debunking each type of love, I'll formulate my final thoughts and what love truly is and what it means to fall in love.

    Philia is an affectionate love. This type of love is showed towards friends and is a non-romantic love. Some of the ways of portraying this type of love is through deep trust and communication. You believe that you friend is someone who is capable of standing by your side through the highs and the lows. It is most commonly know as brotherly love. According to the article, What is Philia Love in the Bible, written by, Jack Zavada, "philia means close friendship or brotherly love in Greek." The article also states, "philia refers to love based on mutual respect, shared devotion, joint interests, and common values." Meaning that this love is used for those of close interaction with you. Philia love is commonly seen throughout the Bible and is one of the four main types of love in it. This type of love is also a building block for other types of love or just growing a relationship to a higher level. I would suspect that this is the most common type of love due to the fact it can be done on a grand scale.

Image taken from ftd.com 8 different types of Love and the Perfect combo for you

    Pragma is an enduring love. This love is based around a long term relationship that grows over time.  It is based around commitment to one another for the long haul. The full scale of a pragmatic lover is that they find reasons to be in a relationship. They want to be with someone who holds the qualities that they think would make up a lasting relationship. This type of relationship id not a romantic love, but an ideal love. From, Love-z.com, "the pragmatic lover will often have a very clear idea of the kind of person they would like to have as a partner. Their idea of what their partner should be can be precise down to very exact physical features, character traits, lifestyle and outlook." Pragmatic love can actually be seen as the best type of love due to the fact it is based for heartedly on a healthy relationship. Those who are pragmatic loves engage with you based on qualities and persona over attraction. Not only that, Neel Burton, M.D, said, "in the days of arranged marriages, pragma must have been very common." Stated in the article, These Are the 7 Types of Love. I would suspect that this type of love is more common in adults due to the fact they are looking for stability. Meanwhile for young adults or teenagers I find that it is more likely that that jump from person to person with no goals or a clear idea of the relationship they want.

Image taken from ftd.com 8 different types of Love and the Perfect combo for you

    Storge love is a family based love or a love held between people considered family. Jack Zavada quotes James Strong's book, The Enhanced Strong's Lexicon in the article,  What is Storge, stating, "The Enhanced Strong's Lexicon defines storge as 'cherishing one's kindred, especially parents or children; the mutual love of parents and children and wives and husbands; loving affection; prone to love; loving tenderly; chiefly of the reciprocal tenderness of parents and children." This type of love is actually related to philia, but differs due to the fact one is a familial love and the other is a friendship love. Storge is a natural love or an unconscious one. The reason I say that it can be considered an unconscious is because you are unaware of the decisions you make for others. You are naturally considerate and affectionate towards the familial love. Meanwhile for a romantic love, you may find yourself deliberately going out of your way for another.    

Image taken from ftd.com 8 different types of Love and the Perfect combo for you

    Eros is the romantic love. This love is referred to the most because romance is the most famous type of love. Everyone wants to fall in love and romance is the easiest way to describe it. Books, movies, and shows mainly focus their love types around romance or Eros to be more exact. Eros is the Greek god of love and sex, basing this type of love around physical and desirable needs. Jack Zavada refers to this love as, "Eros (pronounced AIR-ose) love is the physical, sensual intimacy between a husband and wife. It expresses sexual, romantic attraction." Eros is the most commercial love, but I wouldn't consider it to be an ideal love. 

Image taken from ftd.com 8 different types of Love and the Perfect combo for you

    Ludus love is a playful or flirtatious love. This type of love is not legit and is scene more as messing around rather than commitment. If you ever feel like someone seems to like you a lot, but more in a messing around way, ludus love might fit the description. Love-z.com said this about ludus love, "It was described by the Greeks as the kind of love felt by young lovers or children. Ludus is defined as “sport or play” so this type of lover tends to view love as a game. They will take pride in having multiple conquests and will find it extremely hard to commit to one person, after all they’re all about the game and excitement that comes along with a new partner." This love is wide spread over multiple people without commitment. I actually not sure if this love really counts as one of the eight types because I don't consider it love. Though the desire or longing for someone uncontrollably does fit in with ludus love meaning it can be considered one of the types.

Image taken from ftd.com 8 different types of Love and the Perfect combo for you

    Mania is the obsessive love. Now to be obsessed about something can be good and bad. If someone submerges their life into someone like, stalking, constantly worrying, overprotective, and/or clingy than this love can be detrimental. The good side of this love is someone is caring, always looking out for you, checks in, is understanding, and is involved in the Maintenance of the relationship. "These individuals tend to be emotionally dependent and to need fairly constant reassurance in a relationship. Someone with this love style is likely to experience peaks of joy and troughs of sorrow, depending on the extent to which their partner can accommodate their needs." Said Rachel Grieve. The attachment within this relationship can be difficult to handle if you are a very independent person. This love makes me think of desperation and the longing for something because the mania participant can't handle being without their partner. The personalities of the participants would have to be compatible in order for this love to be able to work.   

 

Image taken from ftd.com 8 different types of Love and the Perfect combo for you

    Philautia is self love. Now this doesn't really follow a long the lines of loving another individual, but this love is self beneficial. Wikipedia states, "Philautia means "self-love". To love oneself or "regard for one's own happiness or advantage" This love can be seen as selfish because you would be looking out for your own good above others. Though this love isn't necessarily bad because ones health is important. I see this version of love as being natural because everyone has been in a position where they find self positivity over others. 

Image taken from ftd.com 8 different types of Love and the Perfect combo for you

    Agape is known as the selfless love or better know as unconditional love. This is the best or strongest type of love. Jack Zavada states that, "It is the highest of the four types of love in the Bible." This type of love is one to be fought for because of the strength of it. The article, What Is Agape Love in the Bible, quoted, "One important aspect of agape love is that it extends beyond emotions. It's much more than a feeling or sentiment. Agape love is active. It demonstrates love through actions." The majority of the eight different types of love are more emotional based taking away from the physical aspect of it all. Now by physical I'm not referring to sexual desires or intimacy, but the actions one does to portray their love for another. Agape is the most ideal type of love to receive or give, but is most likely the rarest type of love due to sacrifices that may need to be taken in order to portray desires or intentions. 

Image taken from ftd.com 8 different types of Love and the Perfect combo for you

    I think that love is an unconscious commitment to someone else. You do it because you feel for them or want to express emotions towards them. After researching all eight types of I love I find that pragma is the best style of love. Knowing what you want in a relationship is very important because that can dictate your take away from the connection with your partner. I have personally figured out different characteristics, traits, wants, and needs that I want in a relationship. This will help prevent from falling into a bond that is unfit for me. Now I think that "what it means to fall in love" is personal based. It is different for everyone, but for me it is wanting to go out of my way emotionally, mentally, and physically for someone. I want our bond to grow and for us to be capable of reaching out to each other and being honest. I will say that I haven't experienced that, so I'm not entirely sure on how it feels. Though when I do feel it I know it'll feel right. The most relatable style of love for my definition would be agape because I'd be willing to use actions to get across my desires and intentions. So to summarize my most important styles of love are agape and pragma. I want the ideal relationship and when I fall in love I'll show that I want the relationship to succeed. 

    What is your definition of love and what it means to fall in love? Leave a comment down below so we can see how everyone contrasts from the next, or even finding someone with the same view as you. 

Citations:

Burton, Neel. “These Are the 7 Types of Love.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 25 June 2016, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love#:~:text=Pragma%20is%20a%20kind%20of,must%20have%20been%20very%20common. 

FRESH, FTD. “The 8 Different Types of Love + the Perfect Combo for You: FTD.” FTD.com, 25 Nov. 2020, www.ftd.com/blog/give/types-of-love. 

 “Greek Words for Love.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 21 Jan. 2021, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love#:~:text=Philautia%20(Greek%3A%20%CF%86%CE%B9%CE%BB%CE%B1%CF%85%CF%84%CE%AF%CE%B1%2C%20romanized,with%20amour%2Dpropre%20or%20egotism. 

Grieve, Rachel. “There Are Six Styles of Love. Which One Best Describes You?” The Conversation, 22 June 2020, theconversation.com/there-are-six-styles-of-love-which-one-best-describes-you-72664#:~:text=Mania,partner%20can%20accommodate%20their%20needs. 

Vermunt, Rick. “Ludus: Playful Love: Love-Z Guide To Loving.” Love, 6 Jan. 2020, love-z.com/ludus.html. 

Vermunt, Rick. “Pragma Love: Love That Endures: Love-Z Guide To Loving.” Love, 27 Dec. 2019, love-z.com/pragma.html. 

Zavada, Jack. "What Is Philia Love in the Bible?" Learn Religions, Aug. 27, 2020,

learnreligions.com/what-is-philia-700691.

Zavada, Jack. “Agape: What Does the Bible Say About This Highest Form of Love?” Learn Religions, www.learnreligions.com/agape-love-in-the-bible-700675#:~:text=Agape%20love%20is%20selfless%2C%20sacrificial,in%20non%2DChristian%20Greek%20literature.